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Latest Game Columns
Feb. 22, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
Devil May Cry 4" is a titanic epic that succeeds at being many things. It's an action film, an adventure spanning vast castles and jungles, a literary parable criticizing dangerous religious cultists, and a war of fire, ice and blood.
It's lacking only a better romance, although a few women prance around in barely-there underwear, while straddling bad guys' heads with leg splits.
That reminds me of my Rule of the Lower Half: Games are usually good if they feature scantily clad women who perform cheeky splits. This isn't because I'm a perv. Simply put, game designers who covet naked women try harder.
As the "4" in the title suggests, this is a fantasy sequel in the popular hack-and-slash "Devil May Cry" series. Unlike previous "Devils," this one does not star Dante, the half-human/half-demon mercenary in the long red jacket.
No, this one features blue-coated Nero, who is similarly demonically human in a good way. For a long time, Nero thinks Dante (a side character) is a villain. But then he realizes they must both save the universe from a hellacious cult of magical jerks.
This "Devil" is an artistic beauty, enriched by intricately drawn castle halls, where grated shadows of light fall on cracked rock walls and on gold statues of dog-human demons adorned with breasts.
Tremendous old drawbridges extend out of gray, rocky mountains. Jungles glow green with leaves, grass and hills. These splendid sets are so vast, they dwarf Nero as if he's an ant sprinting across the Sistine Chapel.
The game play is familiar to "Devil May Cry" fans. As Nero (and sometimes as Dante, in a supporting role later), you swing a big sword, shoot a double-barreled revolver and grab-and-toss demons constantly.
The challenge is to fight so well that you acquire stronger bullets and sword oomph, to take down small demons, like the penguin-type creatures swinging their sword-feet at you, and big bosses, such as a bird-man-demon thing.
It's really quite the ambitious marathon, but the ease of conquer is more suited to casual gamers who believe they might be ready for this slightly hard-core game, because I, for one, never feel like I'm in danger. I can play eight hours without dying.
In fact, "Devil" should merit four stars for all its blades of glory, but I'm giving it three and one-half stars because it's a "This again?" experience that recycles those sets, as in, "Didn't I just kill six demons in this same room four times, an hour ago?"
Also, a few gaming traditions irritate. To become more commanding, you collect gems by beating up demons but also by destroying furniture, forest eggs and random melons. Destroy a wooden chest, say, and collect a gem.
There's an art gallery and other cultural spots along your journey, so you even annihilate rows of antique chairs. And these are nice chairs, pretty little things you might see in a museum. They'd fetch big bucks on eBay. Why must chairs die?
("Devil May Cry 4" by Capcom for PS 3, Xbox 360 -- Plays fun, if somewhat repetitive. Looks great. Moderately challenging. Rated "M" for sexual themes, violence, blood, language. Three and one-half stars out of four.)
Feb. 15, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
So there are three basic genres of rock music, right? There's classic (Aerosmith), contemporary (Radiohead) and indie (British Sea Power). In a similar way, video games also break down into classic, contemporary and indie formats.
And you can tell a lot about a gamer if you study which genre he or she goes for.
Someone who plays "Atari Classics (Evolved)" for Sony's hand-held PSP is telling the world she doesn't care as much for fancy new games, with their high-definition graphics of skull-bashing blood lust. Instead, she's drawn to the safety and comfort of old-school blips and bleeps.
"Atari Classics (Evolved)" comes with 11 classic arcade titles, and you can unlock 60 more games designed two decades ago for the old Atari 2600 system.
There's "Asteroids," "Centipede," "Missile Command," "Tempest," "Super Breakout," "Pong" and my favorite, "Battlezone." "Evolved" offers a fine time. But like the best Aerosmith hits, you know this standard by heart.
On the other hand, if you see your best friend playing "Turok," you can imagine this person prefers to sit on the couch and shoot things in the head. In "Turok's" case, you blast little and big dinosaurs on an outer-space island.
"Turok" games have been around for a while and have seen headier days, just like Radiohead has. But like Radiohead, "Turok" is trying new things to please fans: better graphics and a bigger online adventure.
The story line is a contemporary first-person shooter. You run as a soldier on a crazy planet, which resembles scenes from "Jurassic Park" and "King Kong." Your mission is to kill soldier-minions en route to a big bad guy named Kane, who went nuts with power.
"Turok" is basic fun times, if somewhat repetitive. The coolest parts, offline and online, come with killing things with a knife -- grab, then slice a throat (gruesome) -- or creating a diversion so dinosaurs kill minions for you.
You are more likely to see me playing "Patapon" for the PSP, just as you're more likely to see me listening to British Sea Power. Like many indie bands, "Patapon" is pushing creativity into the future, despite being distributed by a major label.
The main characters of "Patapon" (set for release on Feb. 26) are strange little warrior dudes whose torsos are nothing but round, black circles, with one big eyeball in the middle.
You send them walking into dozens of battles against similar-looking dudes, plus dragons and fortresses. As you win each battle with hatchets, arrows, spears and magic, you gain points to grow more warriors out of a tree.
What makes "Patapon" unique and addictive is a lot -- the look, sound and game play. Visuals are vibrant and flat, like paper-cut art or sleek graffiti art.
And to make your little guys march, fight and shield themselves, you press a series of buttons as if you were banging different drumheads, on the beat, in sync with music that's reminiscent of the indie-pop band the Tom Tom Club.
"Patapon" is so fresh to the brain, it takes a few hours to figure out the right moves. It also may pose great challenges to players who can't keep a beat. And like listening to indie-rock, "Patapon's" music can sometimes grate on your nerves, but you're rewarded with the feeling that time keeps on slipping into the future.
("Atari Classics (Evolved)" retails for $20 for PSP -- Plays fun but very familiar. Looks OK. Easy to challenging. Rated "E" for mild violence, simulated gambling. Three stars out of four.)
("Turok" retails for $60 for Xbox 360 and PS 3 -- Plays fun, though somewhat repetitive. Looks good. Moderately challenging. Rated "T" for blood, gore, intense violence, language. Three stars.)
("Patapon" retails for $20 for PSP upon Feb. 26 release -- Plays addictively fun. Looks cool. Begins easy, becomes challenging. Rated "E." Four stars.)
Feb. 08, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
Video games are spoiling me to death. The "Burnout" racing series already was fun enough, but the newest, "Burnout Paradise," is bigger, cooler and gives me something I didn't even know I wanted from it -- freedom.
Freedom, as in: I get to drive any of 75 cars around a huge inner city the size of Manhattan and Chicago combined. It might even be bigger than that. I can drive wherever I want -- an observatory, a Wrigley Field-esque infield -- wherever.
In previous "Burnouts," you could race only along specific tracks. After you finished one track, the game would force you to take on another track. This wasn't a problem, since "Burnout 3: Takedown," especially, was a masterpiece.
But now, game developers understand that gamers want the freedom of such "open worlds," established by the "Grand Theft Auto" series, where you can travel roads, jump off of ramps, or accept goal-oriented missions whenever you want.
That's what "Burnout Paradise" offers, minus the guns and blood and cinematic scenes of "Grand Theft Auto."
The racing events are awesome: A) compete against seven racers on loads of roads; B) cause a number of rivals to crash their cars in a given amount of time; C) race alone against a clock; D) pull off stunts, like crashing through billboards.
The steering controls are the best in the business. And detailed cityscapes look lifelike as you speed past them at more than 100 mph.
The game's artificial intelligence is great. It recognizes if you're a terrible gamer and slows down other cars so you can catch up. It also sees if you're a fantastic driver, then speeds up rivals to make races competitive.
In other games, that form of artificial intelligence seems like computer cheating. What's different here? AI is just tuned up better, perfectly balanced so great gamers don't get overly penalized for being great, and new gamers don't get overly helped.
Online, things are harder. Instead of being able to drive any of those 75 cars the moment you enter multiplayer, you get access only to cars you've won offline. So, you have to win offline to win online.
The one missing ingredient from previous "Burnout" sessions is there are no levels where you pull off explosive stunts at intersections.
You may have noticed I've been reviewing a collection of car games, lately. That's because it's racing season, for some reason. In fact, "Wipeout Pulse," a fun PSP sequel in the excellent "Wipeout" oeuvre, comes out Tuesday.
"Pulse" looks like every other "Wipeout" ever. You race sleek spaceship cars along tubelike tracks in the future. You try to drive over markers on the road; those load weapons onto your ship. You shoot rivals in front of you. Boom, you win.
Coincidentally, "Wipeout Pulse" and "Burnout Paradise" are my two favorite racing games of the past year. I cruise "Paradise" on my couch. Then I "Wipeout" on the PSP in bed. They're both more enticing than a good night's sleep.
("Burnout Paradise" retails for $60 for PS 3 and Xbox 360 -- Plays as fun as racing gets. Looks amazing. Easy at first, then challenging, and oddly challenging online. Rated "E 10+" for violence, language. Four stars out of four.)
("Wipeout Pulse" retails for $30 for PSP -- Plays addictively fun. Looks great. Moderately challenging. Rated "E 10+" for fantasy violence. Four stars.)
Feb. 01, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
If you're feeling emotionally tender lately -- worrying about the recession, or politics, or the sad demise of a celebrity -- "Endless Ocean" is like a chill pill to put your mind in meditation mode.
It's the niche-iest of video games. Actually, it's not a "game" so much as it is a simulation of scuba diving in blue, tropical waters. All you do is swim, look at fish, pet fish, feed fish, and befriend dolphins and penguins.
When you pet fish, you reach out and rub their little bodies. You know they enjoy this, because magical little sparkly lights float around their contented heads.
You have a job to carry out, but only tangentially. The whole reason you're able to afford this life of lackadaisical lounge-about-ery is some charitable foundation is paying lucky you.
Your mentor is the marine biologist, Kat, a "fish whisperer" who hangs out on your boat and appreciates this career outside of the nontraditional economic structure.
"I think I'd go crazy if I had to work in an office," Kat exhales.
If there's a goal, it's simply to move your boat around to lagoons and deeper waters and conduct topographical inspections on behalf of the charitable organization.
You also pick up odd jobs serving as an underwater guide to men and women who need a scuba escort. You point out fish, and the clients tell you how awesome you are. Easy-peasy.
One client, a female model, basically asks you to point out only the small fish kicking about under the sea.
"It's cute, because it's tiny," she beams.
If you're feeling super idle, you can just sit in a beach chair on the deck of the boat and watch the calm waters, the green islands and the blue skies bobbing in front of your lazy eyes.
"Endless Ocean" clearly isn't for everyone. It was released in Japan last year to mild acclaim, and it is now picking up good reviews in America. Even so, I don't blame a few critics who think it's boring.
I would probably think it's dull, too, if I were in the mood only for action-adventure. But I found this Wii game at a tender moment. I just wanted calm, peace and no scary music soundtracks.
I had less luck finding tranquility playing "Fish Tycoon," a creative but more intensive game that puts you in the role of fish store merchant.
In "Tycoon," you feed and breed fish in store tanks, and treat them with medicine when their scales get yucky. If you dig puppy simulation "games," you might like "Tycoon," since the mechanics are similar.
But stocking aquariums with sunken ship ornaments and growth hormones doesn't do it for me. Neither does watching my pink spotanus croak, because I'm a bad fish grower. What a bummer.
So it's "Endless Ocean" for me, with its emperor angelfish, bicolor parrot fish, pyramid butterflyfish, endangered humphead wrasse, and on and on. Plus, I can hang out with the African penguin wobbling around on my boat. It's cute, because it's tiny.
("Endless Ocean" retails for $30 for Wii -- Plays calming. Looks very good. Easy. Rated "E." Three stars out of four.)
("Fish Tycoon" retails for $20 for DS -- Plays fine for a pet simulator. Looks fine. Easy. Rated "E." Two stars.)
Jan. 25, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
My cat died. And most of my friends just got the news they'll be laid off from work this week. So bear with me while I get grumpy about a slate of adequate sports games that fail to distract my mourning heart.
I don't understand the appeal of "NCAA March Madness '08." I don't know why sports fans want to play as measly college basketball kids when they could instead be playing as big, powerful pros.
The forwards are so small, I think I could beat them up, or at least scare them with mean words. Worse, everyone dribbles and maneuvers slower than in pro games. I want athletes to move fast, like they're on fire. These guys are lukewarm, like the water Jazzmine used to drink. Oh, Jazzmine.
Fortunately, this annual collegiate outing from EA Sports comes with all the teams from the main university systems. If you're itching to see an exact duplicate of the Thomas & Mack Center, you're in luck.
"Madness" also improves on ball handling and shooting ease, compared to previous EA college games.
Meanwhile, 2K Sports' "College Hoops NCAA 2K8" makes it harder to drive the paint. I get sick of taking shots from the perimeter.
On the other hand, "Hoops" comes with reams of college teams, and it's smoother and sweeter than "Madness."
If you want fun, there's more of that inside "FIFA Soccer '08." "FIFA" gets better every year, and this go-round improves on its tremendous feel of play, set in gorgeously drawn soccer stadiums.
The ball handling is an itsy-bitsy bit better than ever. Full disclosure: I still stink at soccer games. The genre hits my blind spot, maybe because when I was a kid, I quit soccer after five minutes. I am not a fan of getting kicked in the shin.
Since none of these games could get my mind off Jazzmine, I thought, "Oh, maybe it would be nice to play a Wii game where I get to swing the Wii wand. Get some aggression out."
But "MLB Power Pros" doesn't let me swing the wand. I have to press buttons on the hand controller, as if I were playing it on the ancient PS 2. What a waste of Wii potential.
This isn't to say "Power Pros" is bad. You might like it, if you're looking for a cute game where all the players from real life are represented by Lego-like creatures, complete with real players' attributes, minus growth hormones.
Most impressive, your favorite pitchers wind up just like the real thing, even though they're wobbly like Weebles. And if your favorite real-life batter has a furry bearded face, he does here, too.
"Power Pros" is sort of difficult. So be careful, casual gamers. This one's not for you. It's for your boyfriend who memorizes every statistic of every player on his fantasy baseball team.
And there you go. I'm sad. These aren't diversions for me. But all these games have moments of greatness for gamers who dig toy baseball players, young college basketball players and soccer.
Excuse me now while I go shoot Nazis in the head in "Call of Duty 4."
("NCAA March Madness '08" retails for $50 for Xbox 360 and PS 3, $30 for PS 2 -- Plays fun enough. Looks very good. Moderately challenging. Rated "E." Three stars.)
("College Hoops NCAA 2K8" retails for $50 for Xbox 360 and PS 3, $30 for PS 2 -- Plays fun enough. Looks very good. Moderately challenging. Rated "E." Three stars out of four.)
("FIFA Soccer '08" retails for $60 for Xbox 360 and PS 3; $50 for Wii, $40 for PS 2, PSP, $30 for DS -- Plays fun. Looks great. Challenging. Rated "E." Three and one-half stars.)
("MLB Power Pros" retails for $40 for Wii, $30 for PS 2 -- Plays fun enough, despite the lack of Wii wand interactivity. Looks good. Challenging. Rated "E." Three stars.)
Friday, January 18, 2008
Put the pedal to the metal with these racing games
Jan. 18, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
A major appeal of extreme sports games is they're not the same-old, same-old. That's why an off-road racer like "MX vs. ATV: Untamed" seems more exciting than a traditional driving experience, such as "Indianapolis 500 Legends."
Both games are good. "Legends" looks and feels like so many NASCAR laps, though more charming. But "Untamed" is bigger, badder and brazen -- even though it must look familiar to fans of the "MX" series.
You don't have to be a dusty, real-life biker to get drawn into "Untamed." You just need a desire to drive fast on buckled dirt roads and to jump motocross bikes and all-terrain vehicles over huge mounds.
"Untamed" revs up fun racing as a solo mission and online. But since I'm a dork, my favorite part is stringing together ridiculous poses midair, like tossing my feet off of an ATV's backside while landing from a jump.
The game lets you feel like you're driving two distinctly separate vehicles. The bikes roll like bikes. The ATVs bounce like ATVs. The game designers didn't just program one kind of steering mechanism for every vehicle.
If you're a newbie, you can win "MX" races even if you're terrible if you pick the "easy" setting and settle into the excellent, turn-on-a-dime steering controls. But whether you're great or awful, you'll get a multifaceted racer offering dozens of tracks and minigames.
By contrast, "Indianapolis 500 Legends" offers much narrower action, although it makes the best of what it is. What's best is the steering is perfect, especially using the Wii wand as a steering wheel.
But it is super niche-y. "Legends" is designed to appeal to race fans who want to drive autos of the 1960s, the kind made famous by guys such as A.J. Foyt.
These crazy little rocket-esque cars were perhaps future-looking in the Ed Sullivan era. They're small, thin and slower than my brother's muscle cars.
The routine of "Legend" is a wee too normal. You drive fast, keeping your finger on the gas pedal at all times. You turn left. You try to catch the drift of cars in front of you, then slingshot around them.
It's also not fun to qualify for races. On the other hand, you can get pretty excited trying to dodge wrecks and speed to the finish lines. (You have to drive flawlessly to win.)
"Legends" tries to feel bigger than it is by including film footage of races from back in the day. Still, it seems like it would be a little gem for car enthusiasts, while a little slow for everyone else.
By the way, in both "MX vs. ATV: Untamed" and "Legends," you must win races and challenges in order to unlock more cars and tracks. I realize this is pro forma for car games. But I'm sick of it.
Why can't a racing game just let me start off with the sleekest, coolest autos? By keeping most of the cars in the garage until the end, these games are saving the best for last. I don't like that. I also eat ice cream as an appetizer, sometimes. I'm really not very patient.
("MX vs. ATM: Untamed" retails for $60 for PS 3 and Xbox 360; $40 for PS 2 and PSP; $30 for DS -- Plays fun. Looks good. Easy to challenging, depending on which settings you choose. Rated "E." Three stars out of four.)
("Indianapolis 500 Legends" retails for $40 for Wii; $30 for DS -- Plays fun, though short and limited. Looks good. Moderately challenging. Rated "E" for mild violence. Two stars out of four.)
Posted by doug elfman at 2:20 PM 0 comments
Jan. 11, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
The toughest thing to do in the video game world is to blink. There you are, racing a car at 120 mph, or shooting cranky aliens on war-torn planets. Either way, environments whir by at a deadly pace. To bat a dry eye is to blink and die.
My friends always can tell when I've been gaming too much. I don't get sore thumbs. My dead giveaway is a pair of bleary, bloodshot yokes. And now, two fast-moving, winter games stress my pupils to the max.
In the first dry-eye challenge -- the fun but unremarkable "Unreal Tournament III" -- you play as a basic sci-fi girl or guy (your choice). You shoot big guns at sprinting rivals in steely corridors that look related to the metallic spaceship guts of "Aliens."
While playing online against other gamers, everything is a blur of spacesuits and ammo. When you croak, you're immediately resurrected. But the game often restores you to life right in front of a competitor's gun. Blam.
If you close your eyes for a moment, you may be shot. If you survive during a long blink, you will be discombobulated afterward, as all kinds of battle movements will have blown by during your visual rest.
That's the point. It wants to drive you insane with frenzy. That's a noble goal, I think. Games ought to take over your senses. This one certainly does.
The action slows to a lighter, slower pace if you tackle "Tournament III" as a solo mission against the computer. But the solo journeys seem like warm-ups to the online shooting, which is what has made the "Unreal" series so classic.
I'm not totally won over by this sequel. It's entertaining and includes good, dorky game modes, like "Capture-the-Flag." But it's an overly familiar romp of running-and-gunning. It's probably best-suited for enthusiasts of the series, and nonblinkers.
The other eyeball-reddening game on the agenda is "Need For Speed: ProStreet." The "Need for Speed" series defined the artistry of driving games. Settings pass prettily around your auto while you control superb steering and car-handling.
You zoom down a road at 100-plus mph. You see cracked, black streets rolling underneath your tires at an exhilarating rate. You also see the reflection of that road's gravel and crevices shimmering quickly across the surface of your shiny car. This is extraordinary.
"ProStreet" especially comes alive when you compete online, as long as you get to drive a traditional race, and not just enter a drag race, which is a drag (step on the gas, shift gears, race over, boring).
Unlike previous "Need for Speeds," "ProStreet" challenges you to drive on actual racetracks, instead of "Need's" usual array of city streets. I'm not cool with that. City routes are way more interesting to crest over, with the traffic lights, and the urban skyscrapers, and all that mood-setting.
The tracks of "ProStreet" are isolated away from town, pretty much, so the race feels hemmed-in by railings. If I'm going to suffer red eye on the run, I want a more open-road experience. My eyes deserve that reward for feeling like they're going to resign in protest and storm out of my skull.
("Need For Speed: ProStreet" retails for $60 for Xbox 360 and PS 3; $50 for Wii; $40 for PS 2; $30 for DS -- Plays fun online, sort of fun offline. Looks great. Moderately easy to challenging (depending on settings you choose). Rated "E 10+" for suggestive themes. Three stars out of four.)
("Unreal Tournament III" retails for $60 for Xbox 360 and PS 3 -- Plays mostly fun, except when it's too fast and familiar. Looks very good. Challenging. Rated "M" for blood, gore, intense violence, strong language. Three stars.)
Posted by doug elfman at 12:17 PM
Jan. 04, 2008
By Doug Elfman
The Game Dork
Usually, I round up the worst video games of the year. But why should I bash "Transformers" and other lackluster titles at this point? Most bad games don't sell well and are already forgotten.
What is more important now -- the slowest period of the year for new releases -- is to look ahead to 2008, and to chronicle the disappointing moments of 2007, in hopes that game makers will stop doing stupid stuff now and then.
Maddening fumbles: "Madden NFL '08" looks beautiful. It plays sweet, mostly. But "'08" came with more fumbles and interceptions than ever. Defenses are beefed up. Offenses have buttery fingers.
This makes things more realistically challenging, because you can't toss ill-advised passes without repercussions. Fine. Sure. Whatever. I haven't played this "Madden" much. Don't plan to.
Game testing fell short: Before a game is released, testers play through them. But not only did testers drop the ball on "Madden's" fumbling, they didn't find troubles with a few other big titles. (Or, possibly, game designers didn't listen enough to testers' complaints.)
The most disappointing experience of 2007 came in "Spider-Man 3," a downfall that should have been caught during the testing process.
It's great fun until halfway through, when it becomes unfathomably difficult. I'm a moderately hard-core gamer, and I failed for hours to beat some big bosses. I threw the game on the ground, angry as a shaken hornet.
People in charge: A hard level is fun; an impossible one in a mainstream game kills sales.
Microsoft Xbox 360's "red ring of death": As some Xbox 360 owners can testify, their machines died inexplicably, and the 360's green power button turned red.
Microsoft extended warranties, repaired busted systems and seems to have fixed problems for newer systems. Still, quite a few gamers waited forever for Microsoft to ship 360s back to them. And I'm still a little guarded with my first-generation 360, waiting to see if it's going to implode.
Meager marketing for 2008: The Wii, Xbox 360 and PS 3 are relatively young and still establishing themselves. Thus, there is no big, newer game system on the horizon.
Also, other than a rumored April or May release date for "Grand Theft Auto IV," there's little buzz on pending games. So while I can't believe I'm suggesting the industry needs more marketing hype, it does, or else video gaming will look stagnant when it's not.
Rechargeable batteries stink: Both hand-held systems, Nintendo's DS and Sony's PSP, constantly run out of juice merely by sitting still, turned off.
Meanwhile, the PS 3 controller doesn't turn itself off automatically after sitting idle for a few minutes, and its charge dies. (The 360's controller does turn itself off.) These are the dumbest things ever and must be fixed in the future.
Poor Web surfing: The powerful PC inside the PS 3 can surf the Web nicely. But it won't truly play much streaming video. That's dumb. The Wii and PSP browsers also suffer from limited streaming video. And the Xbox 360 has no surfing at all.
The game industry says it wants to give us a complete computing experience, but there's always some idiotic hitch like this that keeps machines from becoming all-in-one systems. Companies: Get your act together, and you'll rule the world.
Posted by doug elfman at 10:38 AM
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