I thought when you get recruited that means people like you. Only at the Sun-Times and in pro sports can you be recruited and shanked by the same group of 'dexters.

What a shame. I understand you're landing (again) in Vegas. Good for you.

I saw yer dad's myspace - you know he's nuts, right?

Did Brad move onto his own house? All grown up at last, go Brad!

Julie and Tere say you've been vexed by some New York chick. Can this be true? Is your batchelorhood in danger? Impossible! I'm not worried cuz you're like the Hebrew George Clooney - Many come close but none claim the prize!

Anyways, tell everybody I said "howdy."